Monday, March 31, 2008♥3/31/2008 11:16:00 PM
Met up with Ivan for dinner just now, also he had to pass me a few letters of mine.
We chatted a lots.....personal matter, future, plans......etc....
In another way, I do feel more comfortable meeting up with him nowadays.
Probably because both of us had got no more feelings towards each other, and now we're good friends in which we could freely chat heart to heart.
I have never known that ex-boyfriend could be my good friend after the failure of relationship.
Now, I know indeed it's workable and in fact, you know each other well....and that provides a robust foundation for the friendship.
Because you know each other well, you trust.
Think, how many true friends you have whom worth your 100% trust and reliability?
Kind of emotional when we mentioned our relationship matter.
He was asking me to go for him, make my feeling known.
As, the worst possibility is he gets married and forever he will not be mine;
Or, I stand at least a minimal chance if I let him know my feeling.
True, he's always optimistic while I'm the pessimists.
After listening to his rationales, I found it logical and reasonable.
I treasure the status we are in now, that we're a pair of good friends.
Seriously, I hope our friendship would last even after the beginning of our next relationship.
P/S: Ivan, you better won't see my this post!!!
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/31/2008 11:16:00 PM
Sunday, March 30, 2008♥3/30/2008 11:27:00 AM
What's the feeling of being a third party..?
What's the feeling of being hurt by third party..?
Mixtures of feelings gushed over me, in which I'm sinking away....
I wouldn't want to be a third party knowing that they're getting married.
I determine to control my heart, I will never ever allow my heart to be wild-behaved.
However.......it seems......
They're not yet married, furthermore he seldom mentioned his gf in front of his frenz...
There's something fishy........
Maybe I stand a chance..?
Maybe I should not, since I plan to leave....
Maybe....maybe...
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/30/2008 11:27:00 AM
Friday, March 28, 2008♥3/28/2008 11:33:00 PM
THE VALUE OF A WOMAN beautifully said....
Woman came out from a mans' rib,
Not from his feet to be walked on;
Not from his head to be superior over.
But from his side to be equal;
Under the arm to be protected;
And next to the heart to be loved.
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/28/2008 11:33:00 PM
Wednesday, March 26, 2008♥3/26/2008 10:07:00 PM
你问在我心中 是否还苦恼
那次受伤 否决了爱的好
谢谢你的关照 我一切都好
一个人 不算困扰
爱虽然很美妙 却不能为了寂寞 又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在(这个)世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现(在眼角)
那次流过的泪 让我学习到
如何祝福 如何转身 不要
在眼泪体会到 与自己拥抱
爱不是一种需要 是一种对照
爱虽然很美妙 却不能为了寂寞 又陷了泥沼
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在(这个)世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现(在眼角)
能愿意为了一份爱 付出去多少
然后得到多少并不计较
当我想清楚的时候 我就算已经准备好
放手去爱 海阔天高
喔... 耶...
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在(这个)世界上 一定会遇到
对的人出现(在眼角)
爱要耐心等待 仔细寻找 感觉很重要
宁可空白了手 等候一次 真心的拥抱
我相信在(这个)世界上 一定会遇到 对的人出现(在眼角)
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
这歌词把我此刻的心情说透。
我是真的很寂寞，但那种寂寞不是我再忙，朋友再多所可以稀释掉的。
这种寂寞是需要被爱的。
偏偏，我很矛盾；
想着被爱，却不怎么愿意再爱；
渴望被宠，但又厌倦去付出。
是不是因为我曾经狠狠地爱过，
爱到我把我这一生的爱用尽？
还是因为当时全心全意去爱可是到最后两个人还是分开？
我真的不晓得，我变得完全不了解自己。
眼前的我，是个我最熟悉的陌生人。
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/26/2008 10:07:00 PM
Tuesday, March 25, 2008♥3/25/2008 10:23:00 PM
A busy afternoon shift.
So sorry that I didnt do much routine for today and thus left all to Lourdes. I didn't mean it, but I was really too tight up with circulating cases, relieving morning staff, helping out in EOT.
Today my whole task was all about Plastic cases. Took over in OR3 and a local flap was in progress. While I was circulating, I needed to prepare for the OBIT in the later case. Finally got out of plastic theatre at 2pm.
I thought I could have some ambel time to get ready tomorrow cases, however fact proved me wrong.
EOT s.o.s me to prepare another ORIF facial for prof and that patient has been sent for. So I guessed I had at least 30 minutes to go?
Well, WRONG. Patient came in 10 minutes later, everyone was rushing. Furthermore patient was bleeding perfusely and WeiChen had to arrest the bleeding fast!
While I was circulating my scrub nurse in the preparation room pre-operatively, Shima came in :" Eh..I need Valerie in OR3, where's your circulator?" she asked Ann.
So I know, circulators were nowhere to be found in the OR itself. Haha...Left with no chioce, Shima got Boey to OR3.
Without everyone noticed, the clocked stroke 445pm which is our time for dinner. Me and Boey nearly missed our dinner time......
Just nice the circulator came back, and :" Sorry Valerie, I was at EOT7 helping out. There is a trauma case ongoing."
Gosh.
The best thing is, all sisters were having a serious close-door meeting at that moments. Hence, no extra runners available.
Today seems like everyone is working 8am-5pm....
Never mind, it's all over.
I just received my acceptance letter from La Trobe University. 30 April is my dateline to summit the acceptance form as well as the tuition fee for the first semester.
What should I do now What should I do now..?
I'm lost.
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/25/2008 10:23:00 PM
♥3/25/2008 12:05:00 AM
Therapy: Single Life
Therapeutic Effects: Tons of freedom, no heartbreaking events, enjoy being a night owl, no explanation needed when going out with opposite gender.
Adverse Effects: Sense of loneliness, noone shares your ups and downs.
Indications: If you always think that there's someone better than yours.
Contraindications: If you love flirting around, if you couldn't resist for more, if you need a companion in whatever you do.
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/25/2008 12:05:00 AM
Sunday, March 23, 2008♥3/23/2008 03:37:00 PM
曾经我爱得很深，爱到我忘了被爱是什么滋味。
最初的那一段，是为了一个不值得的人；
下一段，是因为害怕距离，害怕时间，结果我伤害了一个好男人；
再来一段，是对的时间遇上对的人，但我爱到我变成了他的，我不属于我；
最后这段，我已经麻木，早忘了怎么去爱。
我不想再爱，但又渴望被爱。
忽然，我又想回到从前。
但是，我不敢。
我已经不敢再爱。
也厌倦了伤害别人。
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/23/2008 03:37:00 PM
Friday, March 21, 2008♥3/21/2008 03:22:00 PM
My brother just came back from Macau and this is what he brought for us....
CJ7
This small little cutie has a very unique power....
BEFORE
This is it's natural, primitive look before the transformation.
AFTER
After shaking vigorously, it becomes CJ7 with fur standing upright. Cute??
COMPARISON
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/21/2008 03:22:00 PM
Thursday, March 20, 2008♥3/20/2008 04:43:00 PM
Okay dear all...sorry for the lack of updates....
Not sure if I'm lucky or just unfortunate....my JB broadband network was down since the day I started my leave.....hai....called them up upteen times to get my network repaired but their efficiency is negative. Ya, right now I'm using internet in my brother's office......
Too much to share yet I wasn't given opportunity. Hai...
Well, I sprained my ankle~!!! Went back to meet Carol and Jonathan for lunch at NUS science canteen when I injured my ankle. Weird, I think something blurred my eyes that I didn't even notice there was a small step......And u know, I crippled all the way from NUH back to JB............. that's so terrible....
But not to worry, it's recovering well now... after two days.
Met up my junior friends for clubbing session in JB. I would say clubbing in Singapore has so much more fun than in JB. There's no dance floor for the clubbers...
Never mind, my dear friends will be coming over to Singapore on the 5th of April.....for sure we'll be going to club~!! Love to be with them...as they know me well.......being together with me for 11 years........They're my true friends.........Friends that I know they would think for my benefits....
Oh ya...I really like to upload my pictures....but my camera was left in Singapore....oh oh oh....
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/20/2008 04:43:00 PM
Wednesday, March 12, 2008♥3/12/2008 09:57:00 PM
Cardio discipline ran a workshop which required an advance TV system, so it ended up we swapped theatres. Cardio used OR8,9 (GS theatre) wherearea GS used OR12,13 (Cardio).
Therefore I purposely reached theatre earlier to set everything up in OR12,13 knowing that we would definitely be running like mad to take instruments from OR8,9 all the way to where we were located. The first thing I did was, got a long trolley with 2 trays on top, filled them up with our common laparoscopic instruments and items needed for our 3 listed cases.
While I was settling some errands in the preparation room, an Advance dip student popped in. Without greeting anyone, she walked straight towards where our OT list was, analyzing what cases and things that were needed. As if she was one of our staffs.
Then I noticed we need to turn our OT table to enable II to be fitted in intra-operatively. Being unfamiliar of the table, I spent a few second to check if turning of table was needed. So when my attendant double confirmed if need to turn table, the Advance dip student said out loudly:" No need. IOC no need II!"
WHAT THE ASS~!
Asshole lor......
Without looking at OT table, without knowing our standard practice, without paying respect to the staff, without being humble, without thinking twice~!
I didn't want to argue, went off theatre.
So, I told my partner who were in the central corridor what happened just now. She then went in and had a check, Advance dip student has gone!
Of course I recognized her. She was formerly our Anaesthetic senior staff nurse.
Ya....SO???
When she's completely WRONG.
Hai....how come how come how come....??
Some people LOVES to show off what they know...or rather LOVES to pretend they know everything~ Not only the advance dip student, but also my S_st_r! Of course just one. The particular one whom all of us annoy of.
Thinking that she's perfect in doing thing, thinking that she's the youngest s_st_r, thinking that she's right all the time!!
She was proven wrong for at least 3 times. I ever emailed her the correct information I've got through Internet!
Don't act if you know everything please. Not sure, tell me you're not sure about it; No idea, frankly tell me you didn't encounter it. Don't act! Your acting magnifies your ignorance and you gain nothing from that. Most of all, you lose your respect from all of us.
Really buay tahan, and all of us were discussing over this issue in the central corridor, she's really pissed us off...
Haha.....enough of venting, i guess. I just need some channel of ventilation to empty my frustration and anger. After venting, it's over....=)
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/12/2008 09:57:00 PM
Monday, March 10, 2008♥3/10/2008 11:01:00 PM
Post call after an amazingly fantastic call......I still slept for approximately 4 hours when I reached back home. I didn't catch a good night sleep in the call room as incredible snoring sound was very disturbing. All thanks to 'somebody', I felt like giving her a kick when her bed was just next to mine~! WTF.....
Met up with my women...after my refreshing haircut... Ha.. Thank for the women they actually commented that I got a monkey head now, and forcefully banned me from getting a yellow clothes....True la..with my haircolor and yellow, I know I will look stunning. Haha....No way man...
Gifted Belinda her favourite Hello Kitty wooden tissue box and weighing scale as her birthday presents. I guess her Kitty collection is getting crazier. Well, glad that she likes it.......and of course the $80 Taka voucher ne....
Rest assured, we took photos......as usual....in the TOILET~!!!
However lousy blogger photos uploading system is too slow...view my photos via my facebook ba..
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/10/2008 11:01:00 PM
Sunday, March 09, 2008♥3/09/2008 05:07:00 PM
Something unusual that I took a nap of one and a half hour. Well, nothing weird about the nap taken but the location.
Do you know where I napped?
Major Operating Theatre~~!! SssSSSSsssHHHHH....................
Keep quiet okay...I napped while I'm still oncalling. Hahaha...perhaps now I have the fortunate to laugh out loud. It's too quiet to be true.
Can't believe it. I just pray that tonight will be as peaceful....
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/09/2008 05:07:00 PM
Saturday, March 08, 2008♥3/08/2008 08:05:00 PM
Went in to JB this early morning together with Carol and her family, also to attend my first election voting.
Her brother came all the way from Sg to have his wedding portfolio shooting. You think it's so troublesome huh?? No no....they made a wise decision---cheaper, better quality, better service.
Despite of all that, they enjoy JB good food each time they come in. Wah....Sg food is really nothing as compared to JB's.
Calm down guys.....COOL YOURSELF DOWN....Don't rub your eyes, I'm VALERIE...
I know I know, you want to comment that I'm daring...or rather I'm just too reckless to chop off my hair without thinking twice...Please forgive me.....but but but I kind of like this new hairstyle~!!!
I think it was about 10 years ago since I last had this tom boy kind of style....hahaha....drastic changes from my previous one ya...?? Yeah I know....I know it's not feminine at all~ but I don't care.....Tom boy tom boy lor..... If a guy were to fall in love for me sincerely, they wouldn't care about my hair.....right?
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/08/2008 08:05:00 PM
Friday, March 07, 2008♥3/07/2008 08:49:00 PM
Tomorrow will be my first time experience involving in the grand election of my country.
I'm getting tachycardic......rather excited about the election as it proves that I'm already really an adult, which I have to be accountable for all the decision that I've made.
Hmm...hopefully it's going to be my desired outcome.
Will be going over to Carol's house to stay overnight, as tomorrow we gotta set off at 8am and head toward to JB for their portfolio shooting.
Nah...I'm not going to stay at JB after that, oncall on Sunday which I need to rest properly.
So guys..seeya...very lethargic now....
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/07/2008 08:49:00 PM
Thursday, March 06, 2008♥3/06/2008 10:11:00 PM
Sometime I find that our assignment tasked by sister is just an excuse for them not to do thing properly and completely.
Scenario 1:
Sister A assigned you to be in-charge of OR files content. You did frequent checking of the files and you realized somebody has been taken or added something from it. And so you lost track of the files and couldn't find who's the culprit. Thereafter you realized Sister B has been touching the files and even assign somebody to file in something.
One day Sister A approached and asked:" I thought I've assigned you to take care of the files? How come the file in OR x doesn't have those in OR y's?"
And your reply was:" Sister I totally lost control on the files content! I did check on the files"
Sister A said:" Ya, i know Sister B did do something for the files, but you also have to keep checking."
Scenario 2
Sister A assigned you to in-charge of OR charge forms, to top-up regularly, to organize tidily together with your other 2 colleagues. You did very frequent top-up and always your colleagues saw you photocopying charge forms while the rest of your colleagues did nothing. Sister B took away one of the old charge form and replace 2 pieces of new version in only. Apparently, you didn't know anything about.
1st, 2nd, 3th of March you were off and came to work only on 4th of march. Sister A was blaming you that you didn't do your job properly and there's no charge form in the respective drawer and she left after that. You remember clearly that on the last day that you work before this week, you top up fully. When you went to take a look, you realized that the charge form was changed and it's written:" Revised on March 2008"!
Somebody has touched my arrangement and yet nobody inform us!!!!!!! Are you sisters trying to sabotage us???????
What is your reaction towards all this nonsense?!
I was like WTF!
Better don't assign anything for me. If you want to, please keep me informed if you're to amend anything! If you think you're sister and you've the authority to change anything, please don't task the job to anyone! If you think we're supposed to check on thing to keep ourselves updated, then you better do everything on your own!
Also, SISTERS, please communicate among yourselves!!! Keep your staff updated if you were to implement anything!! If you think it's unnecessary for you to inform us, jolly well you don't blame us not communicating among ourselves! Because you as sister, DID NOT CARRY ANY ROLE MODEL IMAGE!!
Stop using your sister power to pressurize us! I'm still giving you sisters another chance. Anything more than that, I'll just be honest to you and tell you what's in my mind. I don't care if you criticize me for being rude or hooligan, I'm just stating the truth. IF you're able to provide me any valid reasons or explanation, I will accept it. Vice versa, I hope you sisters listen to the feedbacks given by staff. Don't ever think that all your staff are inexperience, not able to do thing efficiently and properly, OR think that YOU KNOW EVERYTHING!
Sister, doesn't mean you authorize everything! Without your staff, you're nothing.
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/06/2008 10:11:00 PM
Wednesday, March 05, 2008♥3/05/2008 09:16:00 PM
Somehow I dislike the presence of sisters around in the theatre.
I believe most of my fellow colleagues feel the same way but might be of different reasons.
There's various reasons which lead to the above mentioned:
1)Scared of getting caught red-handed if there's any breach of SOP.
2)Think that sisters are to find fault on them.
3)Not able to slack or no slow movement is allowed when they're around.
4)Must show 100% of courtesy and respect even if you're in the most irritated state.
5)They've forgotten that respect is through earning.
To me, there's something else.
1)Depend on sisters' mood. If they're in mood of pink, I'll stay safe; If they're annoyed, I will always have ANY reasons to deserve a scolding or reprimands.
2)No change of any rules is allowed, not even slight adjustment.
3)No other opinion is accepted other than which is in their mind.
4)I function well when I'm alone but with their presence, I think I'm stupid.
5)Sometime the questions they asked, it's hinting that I'm expected to know.
6)Hate the feeling when other colleagues face any sister, they'll treat sisters like queens:" sister sorry, okay sister, yes sister. thanks sister..."
Hai.. in conclusion, it's tough to work with sisters sometime.
*Sometimes only, of course very much depends on the mood and situation.
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/05/2008 09:16:00 PM
♥3/05/2008 07:45:00 PM
HMDP was called off. As confirmed by Sister Shirin and Dr Charles. None of us, yes including surgeons, none of us is going for the HMDP! Apparently, it was not granted for the fund.
NUH is stingy la...that's my only comment.
But well, surprisingly, I felt calm after hearing the news. Probably a lil' of disappointment exists but on the other hand, no extra bond will be imposed on me~
Waiting is the only thing I can do now...
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/05/2008 07:45:00 PM
Tuesday, March 04, 2008♥3/04/2008 10:45:00 PM
Phew, it had been a fulfilling day to me!
Stephen's case made me learnt up something new~! For a case with CBD exploration, 3 different endoscopes were used! What challenged me neither was gastroscope nor choledoscope, it was the fragile ureteroscope!! In which the basic set-up is of slight different from others and today was my virgin try on fixing up the scope, luckily I had WangFang with me whom very much familiar with it.
Anyway, there's lots of surprises but none of them brought up serious problem. So me and Lavan are safe.......
Well, stayed up for Charles Tsang case for his HAL anterior resection, although it didn't last that late. I completely cleaned up all my instruments by 6pm! Fortunately, I still managed to rush down to TRUE for my yoga and dance classes.
Enjoyed myself in both the Gentle Yoga and Sexy Belly dance. After the highly stressful and fast-pacing day in theatre, Gentle Yoga is just so an absolute channel of relaxation!
Right after the yoga, Sexy Belly dance was the next. I tell you, the dancing instructor was so damn sexy lar~! *Jealous jealous* When can I have a body like hers????
The answer is:" Try the sexy belly dance more often?" Haha....
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/04/2008 10:45:00 PM
Monday, March 03, 2008♥3/03/2008 12:24:00 PM
Special Announcement:
Valerie is going to privacy limit her blog in a week time. For those sincere readers, kindly PM her your email address to mingpei_teng@hotmail.com for the convenience of your access to her secret in future. Thanks.
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/03/2008 12:24:00 PM
Saturday, March 01, 2008♥3/01/2008 03:15:00 PM
This few days were kind of occupied!
Firstly Hepatectomy on Wednesday which extended till 8pm, this is already quite tiring....I didn't have any reasons for not being home earlier.
Thursday is a relaxing day in theatre....assigned to breast theatre. So not used to scrub breast cases anymore, it's really hypnotic! After which met up with old gang Jon, Ganesh and Matthew at usual hangout place-Wala Wala. It seems like Mr.Ganesh's favourite that almost each time Wala is our destination! What to do? He's the driver so........follow lor.....ha
Training leave on friday for endoscopy training. Attended with Brother Albert and indeed I learnt tons from the session! Haha...Scared of scopes no more!! Head to Conraq Hotel at City Hall after that to accompany Carol for the Australia Property Exhibition. They planned to invest on a property in Australia after they've gone back to Australia. NEXT. Clark Quey with Roy, Jesse, BangYu, KerJia. What a pity some couldn't make it for the night. The poor BangYu was being teased for the whole night, because Roy introduced him as "SheBangYou"!! hahahaha.......
After dropping by clinic c with them for awhile, I hopped to M.O.S to meet my girls.....and St.James later on. Haha...yes, you can say I'm crazy!! no no no...we're crazy.....Stayed until 4am, after the BIG breakfast in Mac, we decided to head home already...Too tired.....
Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
3/01/2008 03:15:00 PM
After shaking vigorously, it becomes CJ7 with fur standing upright. Cute??