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Dear Diary,
Thursday, June 26, 2008♥6/26/2008 09:22:00 PM

该死的!该死的!

怎么又又又想起了!

*生气*

放工后赶到机场去送行,从今以后新加坡又少了一位好男人,国大医院手术房又少了一名好护士。

在回家的路途上,我经过了Tanah Merah;又是一个拥有我的回忆的地方。

曾经我为了他,搬到了离学校有一小时半路程,离医院有超过一小时路程的Tanah Merah。

只为了他。

唉,当时的我好傻。

但,你也可以说我爱得太深。

*重新振作*

好!往事少提!

对不起,我要去冲凉咯!

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/26/2008 09:22:00 PM

Wednesday, June 25, 2008♥6/25/2008 10:29:00 PM

TODAY IS OUR PAYDAY~!

Glad to see there's some figures in my bank account statement. Haha...

But somethin nearly destroyed my joyous...

I WAS SABOTAGED!

Well, as long as you're in medical line, you would know how important is counting instruments during the operation.

The aim is to prevent instruments from retaining inside patient body so that patient is able to have optimise result benefits from the operation.

So, counting instruments pre, intra and post operatively is crucial to both the scrub and circulating nurse.

After the massive counting for my final count, I made sure all SHARPS, SPONGES and INSTRUMENTS counts are correct before surgeons can close the cavities.

So I was clearing my instruments in the slouice room( dirty utility room in OT) and was shocked that I'd one towel clip lost!!

I alerted my circulating nurse as well as the surgeons. Everyone was searching thoroughly for the linen and rubbish bags. To no avail, nothing found.

IT IS WEIRD! No discrepancy in my counts when I did my final count!

After about 15 mins of searching, my colleague stepped in with a towel clip on her hand.

"I found this outside the central corridor, are you looking for something..?"

TA DAH~!


Apparently a towel clip was left on one of the trolley in central corridor and it caught her attention as we were searching for something inside the theatre.

Well, luckily it's found.

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/25/2008 10:29:00 PM

Tuesday, June 24, 2008♥6/24/2008 10:49:00 AM

Alright~!!!!!!!

See...my English input~!!!

That means I'm recovering well and adapting to the readjusment!

Haha...it all started from yesterday... I bought a PINK PSP slim~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Woohoo~


Initially wanted to get a chili red color, but well it looked like toy color..... so I gave it up.

From the picture provided, it looks damn nice and sleek. However if you ever take a real look and have a good touch, you'll find lots of thumb prints on top and it's exactly like a toy for kids......


Muahahahaha......let me start gaming!

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/24/2008 10:49:00 AM

Monday, June 23, 2008♥6/23/2008 06:45:00 PM

他偶尔会想念我吗?

会怀念起我们的一切吗?

当我走到他门前,我看到一双好熟悉的拖鞋。

那好像是我们一起买的拖鞋。

敲了近两分钟的门,他才出来。

他穿着一件Giordano的polo tee, 和一件白蓝短裤。

你知道吗?Giordano的衣服是我买给他的。

我还记得,我一口气买了两件给他,一件红色,一件青色的。

而裤子呢。。。是我们在香港女人街买的。

将近两年后的昨天,他还穿着。

我当下五味杂陈。

要不是知道他早已为人夫,我可能会无法控制的冲上前拥抱他。

那些甜甜的回忆,好美好美。

担,美梦总是不持久。

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/23/2008 06:45:00 PM

Sunday, June 22, 2008♥6/22/2008 10:43:00 PM

终于,我把所有的东西都搬出他家了。

很冷静地,Ganesh陪我到以前我和他一起住的房子,而我也在一年半后的今天再和他重逢。

在那一瞬间,感觉很复杂;心情很矛盾;

但我不能流露出什么,只因为他已经是别人的老公了。

短短的十分钟,我知道他一点都没变。

唯一变得是房子的女主人和他的心。

是自己想太多吗?我可以从他的眼神中感觉到他心中也有激动。

当我们眼神相投时。

离开时,我好像有一种和他永别的心情。

我知道我从此不会再和他有什么交集,也完全走出他的世界。

于是,我在Ganesh的车里哭了,很失控的哭了。

原来,眼泪是咸的,心可以这么的痛。

好久没有这种痛彻心扉的感觉,我记得最后一次是和他分手的时候。

再见了,我最爱过的人。

一个我最爱却不该爱的人。

我知道,这辈子他永远会在我心中。

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/22/2008 10:43:00 PM

Saturday, June 21, 2008♥6/21/2008 03:48:00 PM

Do you guys know what is DOUBLE standard?

I will elaborate more on this issue below.

Yesterday when I was circulating my senior who just came back from her advanced diploma course. So Sister came in just to check if she was alright for that major case especially when we were with a kind of hot-tempered surgeon.

Standard preparation for a laparoscopic colostomy creation is rather simple:
  1. Main set: Laparascopy set, laparatomy set, major cleansing set, mayo tray and its cover
  2. Loose instruments: XL COLORECTAL ROBERTS, instenstinal clamps
  3. Consumable: Single irrigation set, sucker tubing, 10mm 30 degree telescope and light cable.

For this particular surgeon preference: NORMAL ROBERTS and 10mm 0 degree telescope (commonly in GS only 10mm 30 degree telescope). His preference is well known in our dicsipline.

When my scrub nurse passed surgeon a normal robert when he asked for it, sister looked at me and started to question scrub nurse:" Where is your colorectal roberts? why didn't you put it up to mayo tray?"

Scrub nurse answered:" Valerie didn't give me."

Sister turned to me and my turn to be questioned:" Why didn't you give her colorectal roberts?"

"Sister, he doesn't use colorectal roberts at all. Even if u passed to him, he will still use normal roberts."

"Can't we all standardise all the preparation?" Sister reprimanded.

She commented so much while the surgeon didn't make a single noice.

When the case over, I walked in to the prep room and discuss with sister. I told her it's a waste to give him colorectal roberts knowing that he won't be using them! I know that's the standard to prepare the case that's why i standby it in my tray. Just in case he really wants, i have it with me.

Her explanation wasn't that convincing though. She just kept on emphasizing that it's a standard, we just give, don't bother if surgeon use or don't use. Isn't it easier for everyone to remember if we standardise everything?

STANDARDISE STANDARDISE and STANDARDISE!!!!!

Fine! you said standardise. Good.

I keep this in mind.

*************************************************************************************

I was the scrub nurse for the listed last case and my senior gave me the irrigation and sucker tubing for my preparation. IT IS A STANDARD TO GIVE irrigation set and sucker tubing for ALL laparascopy surgery.

However, surgeon requested a special disposable instrument which prepacked with sucker tubing and irrigation set called Surgiwand. Then I passed out my sucker tubing and irrigation set and circulator put them underneath my trolley.

The same "standard" sister walked in to help out in circulation. When she looked at my trolley below, she found out there was an unused tubing and irrigation set. She questioned everyone who opened them to me.

"If everyone keeps on opening the wrong items, we can't charge patient on that. End up hospital will lose money and that's why MOT had negative revenue for the last financial year!!!!!"

That was what she told my circulators!

FUCK.

I was like har??? I though you said it's a STANDARD! JUST GIVE?????

I helped you to save resources, you said it's a standard, just give.

Someone thought it's a standard and give me for preparation, you said it's a waste!!!!!!

Damn. Whatever she does and says, it's perfectly reasonable and everyone else are WRONG WRONG WRONG.

So what if I open a 10mm 30 degree and a 10mm 0 degree telescope for the surgeon? You will say I don't know the preference and it's a waste to give both!

DON'T BULLSHIT OKAY!

You're the queen la, come in and circulate EVERY case can??

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/21/2008 03:48:00 PM

♥6/21/2008 03:48:00 PM

原来,他已经结婚了。。。

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/21/2008 03:48:00 PM

Wednesday, June 18, 2008♥6/18/2008 10:27:00 PM

我的忠实blog友应该会发现,当我用华语来blog时,多半是我心情不好的时候。

心情不好的时候,总会想用自己最熟悉的语言来分担我的心情。

所以,我今天的心情还是没有像油价那样高涨。

Eileen说,我是因为看了太多《斗牛,要不要》,想太多。

可是,我已经没追了几天,心情却没有好转。

都过了一年半了。

姐姐今早打电话给我,说他找过她。

因为我换了电话号码没通知他,他找不着我。

别为我高兴,他找我不是好事。

只是要通知我,他快搬走了,六月尾就到期,让我在这个月底前把剩余的东西搬掉,还有将锁匙归还。

我愣了。

他,快结婚了吗?

为什么忽然搬走?

我害怕听到这样的消息。

他走了以后,我就连他住的地方都不晓得了。

这样,我们永远都不会再见面,也没有任何理由联络了。

很矛盾地,我不想回去搬我的东西。

它们会让我思绪混乱。

他,应该就快结婚了。。。。。

但我却还是一个人。

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/18/2008 10:27:00 PM

Monday, June 16, 2008♥6/16/2008 09:34:00 PM

一辈子都忘不了的痛,叫遗憾。

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/16/2008 09:34:00 PM

Sunday, June 15, 2008♥6/15/2008 09:40:00 PM

又想起了。

怎么又想起了不该想起的事。。。。

昨天,我去了一趟Suntec PC Show,一心想着要买Hard disk。

却不小心经过了Samsung booth。

Samsung....它有我那两年所有的回忆。

我,想起了他。

想起以前我努力的爱着他;
想起以前我一见到他,就会心一笑;
想起以前我不管多累,都在他公司等他下班;
想起以前无论我走到哪里,都想为他买些什么;
想起以前我是多么的害怕失去他;

想起最初我们的相遇;
想起当时他对我的甜蜜;
想起吵架时的我们;
想起分手时的情景。

事隔一年,他的脸庞还是熟悉的在我的脑海,
虽然我们在也没遇到过。

想哭,没有眼泪。
想逃,无路可退。

我知道我得继续没有他存在的生活。

但,我真的好想好想他。

我还是常在梦里遇见他。

他,过得好不好?

会不会偶尔想起我?

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/15/2008 09:40:00 PM

Saturday, June 14, 2008♥6/14/2008 10:54:00 PM

Headed down to Suntec PC show just now with Yuyang.



I waited that guy since 1pm after my training. It was about 6pm when I finally met him at Suntec. Lucky I was watching "Bull Fighting" at home while waiting for him.....Haha...but well never mind. It worth my waiting.

Ta dah~

This is my new hard disk~!!!!





160 GB PINK HARD DISK


Comparison with my K810, do you realize how slim the hard disk is? That makes my K810 looks bulky......

Yes, I said it's slim! It's about 1cm slim only!!! Nothing suits me better as I need a compact yet stylish portable hard disk for my photos and videos.
Proud to say that this was a gift from Yuyang. My birthday gift la.......Don't catch the wrong idea ok.......

He said:" Good, I buy you this, then I would have no worry to think of what to buy for your birthday present."

Haha...well, that's out of my expectation that he's planning to get me one hard disk before we meet up. Unfortunately he got tied down by work and not able to reach here earlier than me. Hai...here go my surprise......

Anyway, I'm elated now~!!! With my nice hard disk and because it's a gift from him.....

WAHAHAHA

Totally engrossed,
Scribbled by Valerie, pen down at
6/14/2008 10:54:00 PM

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THE DIVA
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She named Valerie Teng
23-year-old
17 October 1985
A typical Libran


Who dedicates her life to NUH as a white saint angel,
and she's loving it.


She has a tatoo, a turquoise-colored butterfly,
flying freely at the side of her lower waist.
It symbolizes her second life, her brand new life.


Right now,
she's leading life happily and satisfyingly,
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with her lovely family, and beloved friends


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Please shower her with your blessings.
Thank you.


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Everlasting love
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Have a nice working environment in OT, NUH
Diploma in Nursing
Advanced Diploma and Degree in Nursing
Get promoted to Staff Nurse I within 2 years
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New HP with 3.2 MP
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A Gucci/LV bag
A Coach sling bag
Coach Wallet
Diamond Ring
A feminine watch
A black bag
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Weight of 52kg
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